
Ok, I wasn't "in" the beauty pageant, LOL, but I worked for one day at
one. Turns out they were short one judge and so they asked me to
judge! I quickly had to read all of the guidelines on "Beauty" "Theme"
"Photogenic" "Talent" "Outfit of Choice", Natural vs.Glitz and where
points should be deducted for not meeting criteria.
In other words, this mother of three boys was on a different planet. The seats were all filled with
moms, dads, brothers, sisters, grandmothers, etc. all helping with costume changes, make-up, clip-on air and false eyelashes. Miss Cinderella Teen was on hand to give out the awards.

There were 3 judges all together and we in the end had to pick the
winners in five categories. It was a daunting task. If I am looking at
it from a practical side, out of about 20 girls there were two or three that
really stood out. But it warmed my heart in ways that I did not expect
to hear during their interviews what their personal stories were. Since
pageants are typically a Southern event, (in fact these organizers are
from North Carolina and this was the farthest North they have come) there were girls there from all over.
One 12 year old girl was from upstate New York and her grandmother told her
if she could find a pageant she would take her and she did. It was her
first one. She wasn't the best dancer and her routine wasn't all that
sophisticated, but she was very graceful and elegant. And when it came
time for the Judge's Choice Awards, we gave her the award for
"Poise". Another 16 year old girl just helped her mom through back
surgery and has an 11 year old austitic brother. She told us how she
helps take care of him and the other day she was eating an apple and he
said he wanted one and he grabbed an onion and started eating it. She
said "I help with that kind of stuff". I got a little teary. So she loves her
pageants and only watches "Say Yes To The Dress" and all things on TLC
channel...so there's no judgement from me.

That's the heartwarming stuff. This was the back of a mini-van
STUFFED with wigs, costumes, props, etc. Oh yes, there was plenty of the questionable side, too. Babies not two months old trussed up like dolls
"competing" by having their mothers walk around with them on stage.
"Who am I judging?"...I kept thinking?

The five year old who has been
groomed since she was an infant for this job. During the interview
process she's pointing at her palm saying "show me the money, judges,
give me the best scores, I'll love you forever" and blowing us kisses
and making heart gestures with her hands. One three year old's parents made
a motorcycle prop on wheels with a ring of fire that they pushed her
through. (It was a Carnival theme!).
So how far away
from Honey Boo-Boo was this pageant on a Saturday in Massachusetts?
Not far at all. I chalk it up to a new experience. And for that I'd
give it an 18.9 (with 20 being the highest score, ladies).